Monday, July 28, 2014

a woman i know!

like life was simple for her,
like home was sweet...
she lived in a box full of memories
the kind of love she had seen, protection received,
she was innocent as a kid... when slowly,
in the light in her eyes, shyness conceived
one day .. her sister was given away in a feast,
they called her marriage... she was asked to look upbeat,
in a sari... she didn't know, how to be...
later, they told her, she was to be wed , to some guy she never even met
they didn't shake hands, no numbers exchanged,
not even a conversation, till the rings exchanged,
and suddenly, she was somebody's wife,
her mother instructed her to love her husband...
this girl of 20, had known love to be found not commanded
this trip that demanded love, scrapped of her soul parts that made her
that night, she was left alone with this stranger husband, with giggles n milk
she knew too highly of love to believe this was it..
that man , didn't much talk to her soul, but did to her body
he held her breasts instead of her hands, kissed her lips when she tried to utter a "NO"
she screamed for help and denied that ravaging, but alas,
nobody paid any heed, she was "congratulated" with giggles and gifts the morning next
she went through with it night after night,
she complained it to her mother, to which she found another giggle
like those giggles were all ridiculing her, like her brain was about to burst, her veins rupture,
only when she thought it couldn't get worse, she was soon a mother to be...
a child out of scars she carried and delivered
"love" as she had learned was just a delusion
the light in her eyes were now long gone
the charm her smiles were fake and cumbersome
now that its been 20 odd years, she has existed and not really lived
breathed in and out but never felt... abused verbally and sexually
she has done just what she had to...
adapted... tried to be happy being where she was

and NOW how dare the world come to her and say, have a mind of your own...
when her mother, herself let her drown, how dare she ask her to lift off the frown?
she is now... as she had to be .. to breathe and at least try to live!

to me today all she says, listen to your heart, keep all others at bay!
live your life, with stories to tell.... I'll hear them and for once
feel the freedom brush my face like a breeze...

and I am here her proud peace!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

my melancholy screech



how do we really define success?
is it the winning over something big?
is it all in the appreciations we get?
is it all about the life we lead?
or just be glad in our own skin?

has been no time bygone... that i haven''t suffered with this question alone?

something tells me... i know the way to an answer...
but that way to run on... also needs patience to be mastered...
is it all a solitary... screech?
is it just how boredom speaks?
coz... i know of no other reason...
why my heart could agree to such insane treasons...

kisses my breath moments crossing by...
my lips... this agony.... can't kiss him back..
this solitary... poetry...
oh ! how i wish i would have control...
but then again...

at times.. my heart knows... this melancholy is a part of this living...
that part that needs least believing..
coz this is all that has felt real lately..
here.. standing with all the answers.. yet... unclear!

i know not... when and how... god... has planned....
that hearty bow... with wings spread.. and eyes sparking... one day...
someday... this mystery... would need no solving!
coz that day.. somehow... somewhat... i would have known...

what exactly.. is this syndrome... and a way to live around it with some peace...
oh my! oh my! this gorgeous so gorgeous heart's disease...

Sunday, January 12, 2014

LIVING!

We all in the quest for a life… that is remembered…Forget to live it…. 
Not all… though.. there are these awesome few who live it… live in each moment of it.. 
Love each day.. Love all times… doing what they love… 
ordinary people work for a living! 
The few crazy ones that have the courage to not care about a living more than their love…. Love for work..
Are that crazy few who LIVE it…n unless u lived it... 
There is no point having history books with chapters in your name, or songs written after you… 
what finally matters is what u choose to do in this life… the life that ends! 
And after it ends… u don’t have to care about how and what u make people think or how people remember you... 
So... How does it affect you... How your dead self is treated... How does it matter”who will or will not cry when you die?”

It’s a life… and only one life… that u have... N u gotta live it like that… love it like that… be IN LOVE with it like that… 
or else… what’s the point? What does this give u? How does it come to you? It doesn’t matter… 
you enjoying every time u get on your job is what makes the difference, u getting high on our excitement for work is what matters..
your love for that work, your joy in that work that makes it feel like your life, that doesn’t let u differentiate between day and night is what matters… 
but then…. If a livelihood is all you are content at.. And all you need … then thts just fine.. But REALLY a waste.. Really sad…